So if any of you know me... I pretty much hate sitting down! I love being busy and on the go...constantly doing something productive and working hard! Most of the time this work ethic is positive...however, when it comes to needing to just sit down, take a break (mentally and physically) I have a hard time. My team and myself are working on being able to take rest with rest days and "down time" challenges
This weeks down time challenge for me was to go to a movie. To the average person, going to a movie is enjoyable and fun. For me it is a challenge because sitting down for over 2 hours just to watch a movie feels very lazy (pay 10 bucks to miserable and lazy? no thanks!) Anyway, for family day at my house, my mother wanted to go see Gone Girl at our local theater.. JOY...I had always wanted to go see the movie after reading the book this summer while in treatment, but actually going to see the movie was out of the question because again..I hate sitting for prolonged periods of time. So I packed some of my own snacks (animal crackers, Goldfish Holiday Cupcake Grahams, and a quest bar (I had some macros to fill :) ) and off we went.
Luckily, the movie was very good and portrayed the book very well because for the first time in over a year I enjoyed going to the movies! I ate my snacks and sat the entire time... say what????? Although it was a struggle and after my head was telling me how fat I was going to become for eating and sitting for two hours... I ignored them and hugged my mom for taking me to the movie!
I know it will take more than just one movie to help me continue to fight the voice that is telling me I am lazy, fat, and unworthy of rest but it is a step in the right direction.
If there is one thing I learned it is that I do need to take time to enjoy life and social activities. Going to a movie is normal... it will not make me fat or sick or lazy! I deserve to live life doing the things I like to do, like going to movies with friends and family. Taking baby steps towards freedom from my ED and I will let go of the fears... I am much more than my ED!
This weeks down time challenge for me was to go to a movie. To the average person, going to a movie is enjoyable and fun. For me it is a challenge because sitting down for over 2 hours just to watch a movie feels very lazy (pay 10 bucks to miserable and lazy? no thanks!) Anyway, for family day at my house, my mother wanted to go see Gone Girl at our local theater.. JOY...I had always wanted to go see the movie after reading the book this summer while in treatment, but actually going to see the movie was out of the question because again..I hate sitting for prolonged periods of time. So I packed some of my own snacks (animal crackers, Goldfish Holiday Cupcake Grahams, and a quest bar (I had some macros to fill :) ) and off we went.
Luckily, the movie was very good and portrayed the book very well because for the first time in over a year I enjoyed going to the movies! I ate my snacks and sat the entire time... say what????? Although it was a struggle and after my head was telling me how fat I was going to become for eating and sitting for two hours... I ignored them and hugged my mom for taking me to the movie!
I know it will take more than just one movie to help me continue to fight the voice that is telling me I am lazy, fat, and unworthy of rest but it is a step in the right direction.
If there is one thing I learned it is that I do need to take time to enjoy life and social activities. Going to a movie is normal... it will not make me fat or sick or lazy! I deserve to live life doing the things I like to do, like going to movies with friends and family. Taking baby steps towards freedom from my ED and I will let go of the fears... I am much more than my ED!